Bread and fish
Wonder of the repeating
It is like the triangle from the quantum mechanics, the repeating of the
triangle is the cosmos.
Publication of Oxford University 1997
The fish as
essence of life
was before my insanity a fisherman in a small fishing row-boat for the sea. The
name of this boats is Helderse vlet. They were for to bring the guide on board
who brings the great ships in the harbor. I fished because it was the only thing
in life. The reason to this was that there were no boys and there were no girls
that I have interest in, because the war put that interest out me and made a
total individual from me with one thought and that was to survive. I was like an
animal, and the reason of my insanity was that I fell in love with a cat.
On that moment I felt I was dangerous as human and asked for a cell in a
hospital. In seven months there that love became to be a circle. My animus was
in love with my own anima and that what I had seen in the eyes of the cat. On
the moment I should be going mad I go to lie on the bottom of the isolation cell
I was in and gave away my life. It was not longer to carry, this love-pain, and
I spoke the words “I want not longer carry my own pain, I want to carry the pain
of the world”. I came out a Russian camp in Berlin and 5 minutes later I was
touched by God and placed on the circle time of the mythology.
When I was out the hospital I start fish again. I fished now to try to
keep my mind in own hands, because I still lived the mythological greatness with
the pain to carry also my own human being because I have to break this down.
This happened by fishing every day and placing every day 1100 hooks on the
hook-line from several hundred meters. And there was never a fish, an eel, who
had bitten in the bait on the hooks. I lived from the fish I could hold out the
drums who standing outside the smoking houses, because they were fallen in the
fire, and not good for to sell, but as good as they belong to be, only hurt.
Every day I hold and eat it, other fishermen reached me a piece of bread when we
passed each other.
Because I had a good name. I had a stranded fisher-boat, rowed his anchor far
in sea so that when the water should rise again he could draw himself in sea
again, and when I had not done this by higher water he should go farther on the
dry. I was the only one in the harbor of IJmuiden who had a boat who could do
this. After this happening I was one of them, only they found it strange that I
go years through and make no money with my fishing. Now I know that there was no
eel on the hook-line because I did all the time something wrong. You have to lay
your lines in salt, so that the smell of death goes off it because eel has a
very good nose. But by doing every day setting all those hooks for nothing, with
that I lost my human being. I lost my rational thinking, and my thoughts go more
and more over to the world of God. I understood what it means to love the whole
world, and I felt how that makes you free. Still now I eat only bread and fish.
I have an American friend (I have been a
fisherman and we talk much about fish together), who has salmon out Alaska and he smokes them and that
is with the bread that Joke makes every day, to break the corn of the grain
between stones. I eat the salmons who swim up in the river to go to the spring
and make love there and die there. All those millions eggs of fishes eat from
all the dead parents or neighbors or other country salmons. This is also the
symbol of my life. I see that to live is the go with the stream down to the sea.
What I do is a fight the other side up to the place for love and to die there.
Christ multiplied some fishes also to thousands. In all what I do I found
back the structure of the Christian God. On the days of the flower power and the
hippies, the books out the East come also to this land. So I get a little book,
it can in your pocket and there stands all in it what I needed. It was the
Taoteching from Laotze. And another one from Zen, the Ten Oxen. In one of them,
I think the Tao, is said, 600 years before Christ, by Laotze, I am the way the
true and the life.
In all this I smell the fish, because all those years on sea go on and go
on and never with human result has given me a great spiritual result. That
result was so great that I stopped fishing and I became to be an artist. That
was very easy for me because I had no result in my mind, that I had learned on
the sea. That makes that the fish and me belong together and studying later in
the quantum mechanics with its formula “End of time”, 1997 Oxford University.
That is for me the real fishing I have done. I translated end of time in “There
is no time”, so I fished but there is no fish. There is only the moment what you
are doing. And what I was doing was not make myself rich, but to stay by the
most poor and what I wrote came for the human out another world. I cut the world
in zinc so as Moses has cut them in stone and let them roll down from the
mountain to the people, so I cut it in zinc and in great blades I made figures
to it and I explained the triangle I had as figure to think out and the quantum
mechanics has also the triangle now to think out, so I was 50 years ago busy to
let the people learn to live without time.
They bought those big blades and they are hanging in all museums of the
world now. I am famous but I live in a small cabin on the land of the four women
who are companions without erotic strength between us. I live that, I have not
been on the street for 20 years, I need no see the sun or the night, because the
building I built from iron golf plates, has not one window, it has a flat roof
and on this roof Joke make our vegetables and also on this roof the salmon you
see above this story is lying. You see the white lines under the salmon, that is
the iron roof.
Around us is a nature reservation. I live to think the combinations of
God and Zen, I do meditations every day from 5,30 until 10.30, then I meet my
companions, and I say words I found out. They listen because this all has the
positive vibrations of the circle time, spoken by a man, an artist, who knows
that there is no time. That gives an ionization, a negative ionization in the
building, what makes everyone is young, everyone is studying.
There is a woman, astrological a Pisces, who is the nearest to me,
because the cosmos has been 2300 years under the sign of Pisces, Christ was
building out in a Pisces and that cosmic year of 2000 years is over now and now
the time of Aquarius has begun. Aquarius is the cosmic man. The target fell on
me that I am an Aquarius with an Aquarius ascendant, so a double Aquarius. That
woman is Pisces and that is the only one who can live with me, because she knows
her two thousand years in her going away and she sees the new 2000 years are be
born in me. That point where that happened makes the great spirit on this land.
Heyboer, Zen master